I’ve always been terrible divided, and terribly divided over a great many things. For example, my heart has always been torn between the city and the countryside. I’ve lived in both and enjoyed what each of them has to offer, respectively. I found pleasure in the hustle and bustle of Trenton, the activities in Dallas and the shops of Vancouver. But part of me is reserved for the calm and collected. I’ve been wonderfully satisfied living on St. Mary’s Lake in Battle Creek, Michigan; I’ve loved the sounds on the mountains near Linglestown, Pennsylvania; and I’ve cherished the sounds of birds and frogs during my time in Dorr, Michigan. Whether city lights or countryside midnight skies, I’ve found happiness.

Interestingly, what is true here is also true in a number of significant parts of my intellectual, professional and social life.

Hello, microcosm/macrocosm!

Part of me is radically unamused by the plethora of tensions I’ve discovered in my life. Living a dialectic is entertaining, granted; but there must be a great sense of satisfaction being both set and sure. It seems, at least to me, that I was always caught between extremes. It wasn’t, though, as if I was all that moderate. Rather, it seemed I was, to one degree or another, embracing and rejecting the extremes while simultaneously feeling as though I was trapped between them.

Enter: The wolves and the precipice.

Consider the political economy. Admittedly, I’m Utopian; yet I have a terrible dislike of political and economic policies I believe to be unrealistic. Concerning the environment, there’s part of me longing for an agrarian Golden Era; yet I still have yet to plant a garden. When it comes to media, I’m goo-goo-ga-ga for the interconnectivity of the Internet; yet I’m hardly a technocrat, despising the impact of socialized media on the everyday life of individuals and communities. Ethically, I’m no better off! Part of me has become quite comfortable with my relativism, and yet I say this as someone believing himself to be fighting long and hard for what’s right, just and fair. A paradox under every rock and a contradiction around ever corner!

Truth be told, I don’t mind the paradoxes. I’m not even sure I’d mind the contradictions. Staying true to form, though, even this wouldn’t be granted without paradoxical qualifications.  Nevertheless, such human realities are hardly uncommon; they seem to be par for the course… at least for those of us living with (or in spite of) a terribly un-evolved sense of consciousness and a recklessly immature grasp on consideration.  And at any rate, there’s no getting around my being me… or so I think.