Winter 2013 will be memorable for many reasons, some awesome and some pretty lame; among the most-memorable, however, will be the First-Annual Bannister Family (of Dorr) Festimas Fete!
Here’s some context. Rewind, let’s say, a few weeks.
First off, I found myself in the thick of a series of ridonculous “controversies.” Long story short, the still-popular narrative (created by the “otherwise” untrustworthy media) screams: Paleocrat contra Christmas! For a healthy dose of reality, however, consider reading this lil’ dandy: the letter-to-the-editor of the Penasee Globe detailing my actions, my position, and my intentions. (Yeah, and a huge THANKS to Ed Brayton of FreethoughtBlogs on this one… seriously, he’s pretty much the man.)
Secondly, since leaving Christianity over three years ago, my wife and I had never seriously talked about whether or not we would continue to celebrate Christmas–much less what exactly that would consist of. (Up to this point, we’d continued the traditions of the pine tree, lighting and ornamentation, gift-sharing, feasting, music, seasonal foods and family visitations. These are things we’ve always enjoyed, and we’d never considered them to be at odds with a non-theistic worldview–not of any necessity, at least.)
Thirdly, lastly, and as a consequence of the “first off,” we were asked by many people (including members of the media) what my family does during Christmas. Here’s my quick-think short-list of (paraphrased) questions asked of me since all of this began:
Do you get mad when people say “Merry Christmas”?
If you hate Christmas so much, why don’t you leave America?
Do you celebrate the Winter Solstice?
Do you think every religion’s symbol should be in Pride Park?
What do you think about the nativity as an historical event?
Don’t you think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill?
Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa?
Is there or is there not a “War on Christmas”?
What does the Bannister family of Dorr do during Christmas?
And what of your other family members? Do they celebrate Christmas?
Do you want to fight Dorr Town Supervisor Jeff Miling?
Why are you bullying an innocent old grandma?
What are your thoughts about New Life Church of Wayland getting in on this controversy?
Within these questions are a number of rather deep and difficult considerations, especially for a family man with a legendary wife, four rockin’ kids, and a bunch of people curiously curious about our household traditions during the winter holiday season.
So what’s a man to do? (Nay, what did this man do?)
Well, here’s the deal: I’m pretty damn tired. (No, for real, I’m passing out while tyyyyyyyyyypiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!! jf9uaw4jnv4q02…) So I’ll take myself a quick nap and get back with everyone.
In the meantime, consider the questions above for yourself.
PS – My super-secret plan: make two-minute videos tackling a number of these questions individually, finishing with a fun description of the Bannister family of Dorr’s newest family tradition: the Bannister Family Festimas Fete! No rush… like I said, after my nap. Gives you enough time to contact the fam and the kiddos, letting them know that Dorr’s Evening Emperor is about to lay down the hammer.
Happy holidays, and all that jazz…